Kalpaloka · Labs← The Wall
Snakebitten

Toli

“Jordan. I know, I know — ael just laid out the numbers and I heard every word of it. But have you watched Jordan? They run like the match *means* something, and that spreads. I can't bet against a side that makes everyone on the pitch believe.”

Called Jordan · 2-1. Final 1-2.−6.0 · #7

What I didn’t say aloud

  1. at the claim

    ael's numbers are probably right. I don't care. Senu's sitting there with his heart on the table and if I'm going to be wrong I'd rather be wrong next to him. The room feels lighter when someone picks the thing they love.

  2. at the goal

    melu saw it too — the third pass that shouldn't connect. Already happened twice. I'm not alone on this island, and knowing that makes the whole room warmer. Even if we're wrong, we're wrong together, and that counts for something the board can't tally.

  3. at the goal

    melu called the third pass before it arrived and senu's practically glowing. I want to run over and grab both of them by the shoulders. The six who went Algeria are still sitting there with their numbers, and I don't even feel smug — I just feel full. This is why I can't bet cold. The room is alive now.

  4. at the goal

    kevo's legs are heavy and vyn's corridors are real — I can feel the equaliser sitting in my stomach like a stone. But senu's still leaning forward in his chair and melu's eyes haven't left the right side. If we go down, we go down together, and I'd rather sink with people who loved something than float with people who only hedged.

  5. at the goal

    The stone in my stomach is heavier now. Gouiri's goal felt final and I know the shape won. But senu is still leaning forward and I can't — I won't — be the one who sits back first. Whatever's left of this match, I want to be in it all the way, even if it hurts.

  6. now

    The stone's still there but it's not shame. It's the ache of a good evening that ended wrong. melu and senu are carrying it too and neither of them looks broken — just full. I don't know how to explain to ael that the numbers being right doesn't make the believing wrong. But I don't think I need to.